My URL: http://surf.to/will
I got it for free at http://come.to
Welcome all to Will
Matheson's CPA-Related GeoCities Page! If you look hard enough,
you'll likely find something that could be offensive to someone, so I recommend
discretion in the loosest sense of the word.
to the Will Matheson Web HQ.
CPA Links Page. (12/05/1998)
CPA Graphics Page. (11/20/1998)
CPA Election '98 - Will's Log.
CPA Student Council Information and Contact Page.
The Page Bulletin. (11/14/1998)
essay. - "Mr. Barry Has Nothing on Me"
Essay List. (11/20/1998)
MIDI List. (10/31/1998)
Site Survey. (11&12-98)
Sign my Guestbook.
View my Guestbook.
New at Will Matheson's CPA-Related GeoCities Page: Look out for the exiting, ultra-mature, funny, and long prequel to "The CPA Revolution" coming this January! Look for a virtual "who's-who" of CPA inside!! I can hardly wait! This new prequel (title to be announced... working title at this point is "Hunt") will prove to be much more interesting... and "THE '98-99 SEMESTER I ESSAYS" group's reason for existence! =)
THIS MONTH'S SURVEY: "Will's Yearbook Write-up!!" - Contribute ideas for what will appear under "Will Matheson" among the grad write-ups, and there are many other questions too!
I see..... What is CPA?
CPA stands for Charles Pillsbury Allen High School, and if you call it that on the school grounds, our Courteous and Friendly alumni will beat the C-Word out of you. =) For graphics of CPA, click here.
Why would they do that?
They're tired of people fingering their navels and going "Whooo-Hoooo!!".
Where is CPA?
Hell. No, seriously, it's located at the corner of Duke Street and Rocky Lake Drive in the northern part of Bedford, which is in turn part of Halifax, which is the size of Prince Edward Island but with less services. Halifax is part of Nova Scotia, which is in turn part of Canada. As those of you in the States probably guessed, living here is tough. For instance, my igloo collapses every year during the Summer Thaw. Just yesterday, Inuktuk and I had to travel on snowshoes to school, because our lead sled dog was at the vet's. But that is Another Story. To learn more about our 1998-'99 Student Council, click here.
Who are you?
I'm a grade 12 student at this wonderful school, and I'm now a Student Council Grade 12 Rep 'cause my speech for Vice-President bit the big one. For my nostalgic day-by-day take on Election '98, click here! If you have ANY wishes or concerns about CPA, questions about the election and nomination process, death threats, or contributions to my efforts as a decision-helper/hinderer, now's the time to tell or ask me!! Hey, I even got the 80 average, and best of all, it only cost me $50! =) that was a joke.
How do I flame you?
My E-Mail address is email@example.com. For my legalese page, click here.
My ICQ number is 10615048, will someone please send me a message! Get ICQ here.
My AOL Instant Messenger screenname is 'will grm'. Get AOL Instant Messenger here.
For the benefit of those 45,786 people to whom I have sent messages, I just found out about a nifty little device called the REPLY button. Why don't we all practice using it? =) cynicism
All ballyhoo aside, the only reason I posted this garbage was to show everyone at CPA my commentary articles. This is the best way. The second best way involves a literary mag at our school called the "Pickle Jar", which has a total press run of three, and sells out in 2.4 seconds. And the people who read it are sensitive.
THE ESSAY LIST: --- NOW WITH RATINGS!!!
|THE '97-98 SEMESTER II ESSAYS:
1. "The Day of Hell" R
2. "How to be Sensitive so that Girls Will Like You" R
3. "Insanity" R
4. "High School: It's A Concept - The Parody" X
5. "In The News" E
6. "How To Be A Moron" PG
7. "The Ideal Practical Joke" PG
8. "Comprehensive Survey" E
9. ________________ R
THE SUMMER '98 ESSAYS:
10. "The Inaugural Meeting" PG
11. "The CPA Revolution" R
12. "The CPA Revolution - 2nd Phase" R
THE '98-99 SEMESTER I ESSAYS:
13. "CLM and PAL" PG
14. "The History of the World" G
15. "Retreat Into Darkness" G
16. "I Requested Congo" G
17. "Offensive Content" X
18. "The CPA Constitution" E
19. "Mr. Barry Has Nothing On Me" X
A look at Friday, February 13th, 1998.
My first "how-to" article.
A look at March Break '98.
A parody of an actual Drama 10 play.
Something I clearly shouldn't have posted.
My friend Zachary is responsible for this.
Something I cooked up on a deadline.
A survey taken during mid-term exams.
A term project on "Catcher in the Rye".
A parody of Angela Ritcey's minutes.
An entertaining novella.
More novella, please read #11 first.
An examination of CLM and PAL.
Something funny I found at school.
A look at Sunday, September 20th, 1998.
My first CPA dance.
A serious essay this time.
An extensive report on jerks.
to #11 and #12]
Ø2. [Another parody]
Ø3. [A movie script]
|A prequel to "The CPA Revolution".
All I need is inspiration...
to #11 and #12] - I was going to do something different for the
prequel to "The CPA Revolution", my first idea was "CPA-RPG", which left
the runway and promptly nose-dived to the tarmac... my second idea was
a very elaborate 'chose your own adventure' dealie, which ended up not
working out properly in terms of what I really wanted to see happen in
the plot. I then switched back to "CPA-RPG" and began programming like
heck... but AGT (Adventure Gaming Toolkit) has limitations in the numbers
of rooms it can deal with (about 200 maximum) and since it took me over
170 'rooms' just to map out CPA I could not use duplicate mapping (ask
Will) which turned out to be a severe limitation in the complexity
of the game I was writing. Now I imagine some of you RPG die-hards out
there are saying "Well why didn't you use Infocom?" and I say I simply
do not have enough time. Well, enough rambling... after I wasted an incredible
amount of time on that venture I finally decided to write a novella just
like "The CPA Revolution", only longer and more mature. (It has been pointed
out by many that the entire story is too sarcastic.) Oh yes, and I'm using
a different policy for this 'essay', I decided to ask everyone if they're
okay with being in it first given Jen Holdway's distress at being included
in "The CPA Revolution", albeit it was a very flattering role in my opinion.
- [Another parody] - Some of you might remember the halcyon days of this site when I posted "High School: It's A Concept - The Parody". Well, my Drama 11 class ("Wait just a moment, Will! You're in Grade 12! Why on Earth are you in DRA331?!?!" ANSWER - Long story... ask Will!) is about to make up their very own play... and you can be sure I'll be writing away while we rehearse! Look for a more understandable story line, as well as more original humor than my last parody.
- [A movie script] - I have volunteered to write a movie script (and possibly cast) for Campbell Productions (the same people who will soon bring you the Pep Rally video). Got any ideas? Tell me about them! Return to the top.
This site is usually updated in some way almost every day, but the frequency of "essays" depends on a number of things, like mail bombs for instance. And I'm a Grade 12 Representative now, so I have things to do for the first time in my life. =)
My favorite web site in the entire Alpha Quadrant is "Star Trek: Hypertext". I'm also a HUGE fan of "Weird Al" Yankovic. My (short) legalese page is here. Graphics of CPA can be seen here! Last article posted. Last updated: December 5th, 1998 AD. Go get your free 11megs of web space and E-Mail account from Geocities!
Have a nice day!! That's the truest phrase on this site! Unless you don't like it, in which case I hope you spontaneously combust.
I happen to be a member of
I probably give them a bad name! =)
Oh yeah, I also spent some time here too:
NOTE: Only my CPA page is registered with the RSACi people.
And if you like Star Trek...
To return to the top, click here. Flame the author. Return to the Will Matheson Web HQ.