IMPORTANT: This is NOT the official CPA web site, the official Charles Pillsbury Allen High School Web Page can be found here. But please read my page before you go! =)

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Welcome all to Will Matheson's CPA-Related GeoCities Page! If you look hard enough, you'll likely find something that could be offensive to someone, so I recommend discretion in the loosest sense of the word.
Return to the Will Matheson Web HQ.
CPA Links Page. (12/05/1998)
CPA Graphics Page. (11/20/1998)
CPA Election '98 - Will's Log
CPA Student Council Information and Contact Page
The Page Bulletin. (11/14/1998)
E-mail me.
Newest essay. - "Mr. Barry Has Nothing on Me"
Essay List. (11/20/1998)
MIDI List. (10/31/1998)
Site Survey. (11&12-98)
Survey Results.
Sign my Guestbook
View my Guestbook
E-mail me.

New at Will Matheson's CPA-Related GeoCities Page: Look out for the exiting, ultra-mature, funny, and long prequel to "The CPA Revolution" coming this January! Look for a virtual "who's-who" of CPA inside!! I can hardly wait! This new prequel (title to be announced... working title at this point is "Hunt") will prove to be much more interesting... and "THE '98-99 SEMESTER I ESSAYS" group's reason for existence! =)

THIS MONTH'S SURVEY: "Will's Yearbook Write-up!!" - Contribute ideas for what will appear under "Will Matheson" among the grad write-ups, and there are many other questions too!

What IS this?
THIS is my CPA-Related Geocities Page. This is where I can dispense my literary prowess to everyone! Also, I never get dates. But this isn't the only decent page from a CPA student, oh-no! For more pages from other CPA students, click here.

I see..... What is CPA?
CPA stands for Charles Pillsbury Allen High School, and if you call it that on the school grounds, our Courteous and Friendly alumni will beat the C-Word out of you. =) For graphics of CPA, click here.

Why would they do that?
They're tired of people fingering their navels and going "Whooo-Hoooo!!".

Where is CPA?
Hell. No, seriously, it's located at the corner of Duke Street and Rocky Lake Drive in the northern part of Bedford, which is in turn part of Halifax, which is the size of Prince Edward Island but with less services. Halifax is part of Nova Scotia, which is in turn part of Canada. As those of you in the States probably guessed, living here is tough. For instance, my igloo collapses every year during the Summer Thaw. Just yesterday, Inuktuk and I had to travel on snowshoes to school, because our lead sled dog was at the vet's. But that is Another Story. To learn more about our 1998-'99 Student Council, click here.

Who are you?
I'm a grade 12 student at this wonderful school, and I'm now a Student Council Grade 12 Rep 'cause my speech for Vice-President bit the big one. For my nostalgic day-by-day take on Election '98, click here! If you have ANY wishes or concerns about CPA, questions about the election and nomination process, death threats, or contributions to my efforts as a decision-helper/hinderer, now's the time to tell or ask me!! Hey, I even got the 80 average, and best of all, it only cost me $50! =) that was a joke.

How do I flame you?
My E-Mail address is For my legalese page, click here.
My ICQ number is 10615048, will someone please send me a message! Get ICQ here.
My AOL Instant Messenger screenname is 'will grm'. Get AOL Instant Messenger here.

            For the benefit of those 45,786 people to whom I have sent messages, I just found out about a nifty little device called the REPLY button. Why don't we all practice using it? =) cynicism

           All ballyhoo aside, the only reason I posted this garbage was to show everyone at CPA my commentary articles. This is the best way. The second best way involves a literary mag at our school called the "Pickle Jar", which has a total press run of three, and sells out in 2.4 seconds. And the people who read it are sensitive.

1. "The Day of Hell" R
2. "How to be Sensitive so that Girls Will Like You" R
3. "Insanity" R
4. "High School: It's A Concept - The Parody" X
5. "In The News" E
6. "How To Be A Moron" PG
7. "The Ideal Practical Joke" PG
8. "Comprehensive Survey" E
9. ________________      R
10. "The Inaugural Meeting" PG
11. "The CPA Revolution" R
12. "The CPA Revolution - 2nd Phase" R
13. "CLM and PAL" PG
14. "The History of the World" G
15. "Retreat Into Darkness" G
16. "I Requested Congo" G
17. "Offensive Content" X
18. "The CPA Constitution" E
19. "Mr. Barry Has Nothing On Me" X

A look at Friday, February 13th, 1998. 
My first "how-to" article. 
A look at March Break '98. 
A parody of an actual Drama 10 play. 
Something I clearly shouldn't have posted. 
My friend Zachary is responsible for this. 
Something I cooked up on a deadline. 
A survey taken during mid-term exams. 
A term project on "Catcher in the Rye". 

A parody of Angela Ritcey's minutes. 
An entertaining novella. 
More novella, please read #11 first.
An examination of CLM and PAL.
Something funny I found at school.
A look at Sunday, September 20th, 1998.
My first CPA dance.
A protest.
A serious essay this time.
An extensive report on jerks.
Ø1. [Prequel to #11 and #12]
Ø2. [Another parody]
Ø3. [A movie script]
A prequel to "The CPA Revolution".
Who knows?
All I need is inspiration...
E - Exempt (non-fiction, in other words). G - Suitable for most audiences. PG - Some offensive content. R - Some non gratuitous swearing, or lots of 'Dash-Word'. X - A reasonable bit of swearing, or maybe things that only I would dream of saying in public.

            - [Prequel to #11 and #12] - I was going to do something different for the prequel to "The CPA Revolution", my first idea was "CPA-RPG", which left the runway and promptly nose-dived to the tarmac... my second idea was a very elaborate 'chose your own adventure' dealie, which ended up not working out properly in terms of what I really wanted to see happen in the plot. I then switched back to "CPA-RPG" and began programming like heck... but AGT (Adventure Gaming Toolkit) has limitations in the numbers of rooms it can deal with (about 200 maximum) and since it took me over 170 'rooms' just to map out CPA I could not use duplicate mapping (ask Will) which turned out to be a severe limitation in the complexity of the game I was writing. Now I imagine some of you RPG die-hards out there are saying "Well why didn't you use Infocom?" and I say I simply do not have enough time. Well, enough rambling... after I wasted an incredible amount of time on that venture I finally decided to write a novella just like "The CPA Revolution", only longer and more mature. (It has been pointed out by many that the entire story is too sarcastic.) Oh yes, and I'm using a different policy for this 'essay', I decided to ask everyone if they're okay with being in it first given Jen Holdway's distress at being included in "The CPA Revolution", albeit it was a very flattering role in my opinion.
            - [Another parody] - Some of you might remember the halcyon days of this site when I posted "High School: It's A Concept - The Parody". Well, my Drama 11 class ("Wait just a moment, Will! You're in Grade 12! Why on Earth are you in DRA331?!?!" ANSWER - Long story... ask Will!) is about to make up their very own play... and you can be sure I'll be writing away while we rehearse! Look for a more understandable story line, as well as more original humor than my last parody.
            - [A movie script] - I have volunteered to write a movie script (and possibly cast) for Campbell Productions (the same people who will soon bring you the Pep Rally video). Got any ideas? Tell me about them! Return to the top.

            This site is usually updated in some way almost every day, but the frequency of "essays" depends on a number of things, like mail bombs for instance. And I'm a Grade 12 Representative now, so I have things to do for the first time in my life. =)

My favorite web site in the entire Alpha Quadrant is "Star Trek: Hypertext". I'm also a HUGE fan of "Weird Al" Yankovic. My (short) legalese page is here. Graphics of CPA can be seen here! Last article posted. Last updated: December 5th, 1998 AD. Go get your free 11megs of web space and E-Mail account from Geocities!

            Have a nice day!! That's the truest phrase on this site! Unless you don't like it, in which case I hope you spontaneously combust.

I happen to be a member of
The HTML Writers Guild
I probably give them a bad name! =)

Oh yeah, I also spent some time here too:
We rated with RSACi
NOTE: Only my CPA page is registered with the RSACi people.

And if you like Star Trek...
Site 'B' Star Trek Reviews

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