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Simply a listing of amusing e-mails and my responses. I shall be putting the most recent items in at the top as we go. Sometimes I'll clip out things at the bottom like stuff online e-mail services put in, but other than that, these are the real things. And I remove the address book card and the like from the bottom of my own e-mail. There is occasionally some commentary, which will be in italics. And as a special bonus, for the bad guys, you get to see their ip numbers and server info.

stuff picked up on 11/21/2000

Subject: your site
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 23:14:31 -0500
From: Mike Boyle <mike@crosswinds.net>
To: willmatheson@altavista.net

Hey there,

I'm not sure why, but your site triggered one of our alarms for kiddy porn
flags... might have been the "inbred" comment about people from PEI.
Bet you didn't know one of the Crosswinds staff was from PEI too huh? Hehehe.
But I'll agree with you on that.

Mike B
Crosswinds Policy Enforcement

Ha-ha! This was just too funny; I had to put it up!

my responses on 10/21/2000

Subject: Re: your site
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 00:33:34 -0400
From: William Matheson <willmatheson@altavista.net>
Organization: Saint Mary's University
To: Mike Boyle <mike@crosswinds.net>

Actually, thanks a lot for directing my attention back to my webpage... I just
noticed that I put my Freshman at Large main page files in the root directory...
crap! It's been like that for days! =) hehe

Over the... years, actually, my site has accumulated a LARGE ammount of text...
so I'm curious now: did the flag point at "Gainful Employment I", or did it just
grab the whole site, so then you looked up one of my more recent articles that
had the Plowing Match in it... which grabbed you as a fellow Islander? =) Oh
well... there isn't any kidde porn at the Web HQ... at least none that I can see.
I'm not even sure that the words "child pornography" appear anyplace on my site,
although I could be wrong. But thanks for taking the time to investigate me
before automatically shutting down my page.

hehe well most of the people I knew personally on PEI weren't inbred (maybe some
5th cousins marrying or something, but that ain't too bad), although you hear
stories, you know... and it really is truly amazing how many people there are
related to each other.

As for the Crosswinds staff... I kind of thought you were all twenty-something
computer nerds gravitating around the Toronto area. Which is cool. Thanks for
checking out my website! (I take what I can get!)

    William Matheson
      - Freshman at large

-E-mail:   willmatheson@altavista.net
-WEB:    http://surf.to/will
-ICQ:      ICQ# 10615048

stuff picked up on 10/07/2000

(from, cdr5-97.accesscable.net)

Subject: Re: to say you're a guy?
Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2000 02:38:16 CEST
From: "John McClane" <diehard984@hotmail.com>
To: willmatheson@altavista.net

why do I want to kill you?  I will make you a short list :

1. You are treading on the sacred grounds of the impholator.

2. You know 2 much about "US".

3. You are very close to discovering my true identity, which I have no shame
in admitting, will scare you so badly you will wet yourself (again).

4. I keep my friends close and my enemies even deader.

5. Yippi Caye Mutherfu#ker.

    So what is this? So am I male or female? I desire you....so perhaps I am

I've decided that I've had enough of this guy. To that end, I have stopped humoring this moron with my intelligent responses. And he should also discover his Hotmail account cut off shortly, and he might even be subject to disicplinary action at Saint Mary's University. Those first two messages were sent out from computers in the basement of McNally East. The third message came from a home computer connected with AccessCable. Why are there so many morons on AccessCable, anyway? It seems the only person on there with half a brain is Joe Chisolm.

He says I'm close to finding out his identity, but I don't really think that I am, unless Corey Strong or Steve Fox happen to hang out in the Saint Mary's computer labs during their afternoons. Corey becomes a remote possibility because his older brother Jeremy goes to SMU, plus his family connects with AccessCable. I wish AccessCable would disconnect all the little junior high and high school shits from their service, but then I suppose they would not make any money. Anyway, I think this is just about all we're going to hear from this asshole, mostly because I have stopped responding, secondarily because I siced Hotmail, AccessCable, and Saint Mary's University on his ass.

There's also no such word as 'impholator' (or 'impholate'), so I assume he meant it as a proper noun. All I know is that this bastard's grounds ain't sacred.

stuff picked up on 10/02/2000

(from, me012-04.stmarys.ca)

Subject: Re: Die!
Date: Mon, 02 Oct 2000 16:13:15 CEST
From: "John McClane" <diehard984@hotmail.com>
To: willmatheson@altavista.net


       Who's to say I am a guy? Maybe I am the girl of your dreams. November
31st is perfect for me. I have everything planned perfectly. Your death will
be slow and quite painful.  It must be terrifying to know that you only have
2 months to live. If your lucky you can discover my true identity by then.
               Yipee  Caye  dead man

Well, it looks like our friend John decided to drop me a line again. Aparently, he hasn't spent a great deal of time looking at calendars. There are two possibilities here: Either he's for real and doesn't know that November only has 30 days, or he's just acting stupid and therefore trying to lull me into a false sense of security. Judging from the average intelligence of the usual morons who harass me, I'm suprised he knows that if there was a November 31st, it would be about two months away. Of course, I'm taking a risk by telling everyone my thoughts here: Even if he's only a half-wit, he'll now be able to pretend that he was acting stupid to lull me into a false sense of security. But who am I kidding? He'll never read this.

This is a coincidence, but earlier today my mom suggested that I complete a legal will.

my responses on 10/02/2000

Subject: to say you're a guy?
Date: Mon, 02 Oct 2000 21:01:14 -0300
From: William Matheson <willmatheson@altavista.net>
Organization: Saint Mary's University
To: John McClane <diehard984@hotmail.com>

How am I to say you're a guy, you ask? How about the fact that your name
comes up as "John"? As for your 'true identity', I'll guess your real name
is either Corey Strong or Steve Fox. Probably Corey.

I am alarmed that you plan my death to be 'slow and quite painful'. Why is
it- again... well, I don't mean to pry into your personal affairs, but why
exactly was it that you wanted to kill me?

- William

    William Matheson
      - Freshman at large

-E-mail:   willmatheson@altavista.net
-WEB:    http://surf.to/will
-ICQ:      ICQ# 10615048

If I was smart, I'd have asked him why the girl of my dreams was sending me death threats.

stuff picked up on 09/28/2000

(from, me011-13.stmarys.ca)

Subject: death
Date: Thu, 28 Sep 2000 14:45:53 CEST
From: "John McClane" <diehard984@hotmail.com>
To: willmatheson@altavista.net

you don't know me, but I know you. I am stalking you. Slowly waiting for the
correct day to kill you.

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

Short, and to the point. This guy should become a writer. More comments below.

my responses on 09/28/2000

Subject: hi!
Date: Thu, 28 Sep 2000 22:49:22 -0300
From: William Matheson <willmatheson@altavista.net>
Organization: Saint Mary's University
To: John McClane <diehard984@hotmail.com>

No, I don't know you. Well, I suppose we can get acquainted through e-mail.
You were wondering, I recall, about the correct date to... what was it? Kill
me? Hmm... Alright, how about November 31st, before the Christmas rush kicks

And why is it always guys and never chicks that stalk me? I never have any
luck! <sigh> =( Catch ya later.

- William

    William Matheson
      - Freshman at large

-E-mail:   willmatheson@altavista.net
-WEB:    http://surf.to/will
-ICQ:      ICQ# 10615048

That was far from the first death threat I've ever picked up, but since I got it while I was working on my site, I decided to start up this new section. So now John McClane will have his voice heard forever! Isn't the internet grand? When I saw the subject as 'death', I was hoping it was just another item coming through the Mike Powell Fan Club Mailing List. But then I saw it was addressed to me. Damn. But at least it gives me a chance to send out some e-mail, if nothing else.

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