WWE SmackDown! for 05/29/2003
(Taped 05/27/2003 in Pensacola FL at The Pensacola Civic Center)

Results: Nidia def. Torrie Wilson via pinfall, Stephanie McMahon scores 1-0 on a polygraph examination, Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri def. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas via DQ and retain the WWE Tag Team Championship, Mr. America scores 11-0 on a polygraph examination, Vince McMahon scores 5-12 on a polygraph examination, Sean O'Haire def. Chris Benoit via pinfall, Doug and Danny Basham def. Rikishi and Spanky via pinfall, The Big Show and Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli def. Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker via pinfall.

Memorable: Cadillac makes pick-up trucks. Polygraph machines now make cute dings and buzzes. But most of all, Tajiri is practically part of the family!

The Good: The second reprise of the tag match delivers. The Undertaker and The Big Show, of all people, deliver. They don't overtly exploit the presence of the Armed Forces personnel. Zach Gowen doesn't jump in the ring. The lie detector test isn't the complete disaster I was afraid it would be.

The Bad: It almost feels like they want to start setting up for Vengeance, but they're afraid to pull the trigger. The Mr. America angle probably isn't over, but Mr. America did win the day. I don't like the new, wimpy F-5. If it's that dangerous, let Lesnar use some other move for a while and use the F-5 only sparingly - or call the current move an F-3. Also, we have to wait until next week, or possibly even Vengeance, to see the Tazzmission. On a related note, Sable is now more important to the show than Chris Benoit.

The Ugly (besides Sable): No Matt Facts and no Cena rap - and they call this SmackDown!?

Synopsis:

We come in with a video of the stuff from last week (yawwwwwwwwn)... Vince's "big damn smile," Mr. America vs. Sean O'Haire, the impending lie detector test (Man, I ALMOST forgot about that!  They never want to let me forget the stupidest things they do with their TV time.), the Zach Gowen arrest, and finally, Mr. America getting counted out.

The main event tonight will be Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker vs. the FBI, which sounds okay. Sable comes out in a very nice outfit. Sable: "Now, I ask you, what would SmackDown! be without me, Sable?" ("Probably easier to sit through.") "Hi, Tazz, did you miss me?" Tazz, to Cole: "Kinda like a bad rash..." Sable says that since she is THE Diva, who better to introduce the next match than hers truly? Sable: "Hailing from Loserville, USA, weighing in at Way Too Much, Torrie Wilson!" She comes out wearing white. She really is bigger than Sable, but in the same way that Chyna is bigger than Callista Flockhart. Sable: "... and her opponent, being accompanied by her *boyfriend*... By the way, we need to discuss 'fashion,' Nidia." Nidia rules. They show Zach Gowen in the audience, just a few rows back of the barricade. How'd he afford such a great seat again?

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia: Torrie knocks into Noble, who's on the apron, and then Nidia goes for Torrie but knocks off Noble. Torrie rolls Nidia up, but she kicks out. Torrie comes in with some chops. Nidia suplexes her and gets a two count. Torrie comes back, Torrie jumps over Nidia and then falls during a run, and she nurses her knee. It kind of looks legit. Noble tells Nidia to finish her off. Nidia starts working on that knee - she does a submission hold with Torrie's knee bent over the back her neck. She takes Torrie to the apron and nails the knee down, then she wraps it around the ropes. Torrie comes back, she takes Nidia down, they roll around... (wait for it), they roll over Mike Sparks TWICE, and he smiles and gets up on the ropes and raises his arms in triumph (Mike, we already have Coach doing the "30-year-old virgin" shtick. Ah, well.). Nidia gets upset with him; meanwhile Noble attacks Torrie from behind and Nidia gets the pinfall.

Now this gets weird. Tazz takes out Noble, then Nidia attacks Tazz with a Tazzmission-imitation at the ropes. Torrie takes Nidia's shorts off. Sable throws water on Tazz. Tazz gets a towel and dries off, and Torrie chases and tries to splash Sable but misses. So are we building to some sort of free-for-all at Vengeance involving the Divas, Tazz, and Mike Sparks? Cole can be the special guest referee, and Josh Matthews and Ernest Miller can take over at the announce table for the *whole* PPV since they've been doing such a great job with Velocity. Noooooo! That's my worst idea EVER!

A limo comes in... (sigh) Yeah, it's Vince. He tells the limo driver to stay in the handicapped space out front because it won't take him long to prove that Mr. America really is Hulk Hogan.

We come back into Stephanie's office with Stephanie, the polygraph machine, and two plainclothes police officers. They 'calibrate' it on Stephanie, asking her, "Is your name Stephanie?" Then they ask her, "Have you ever cheated on your taxes?" and she quickly takes herself out. Cole says that they should ask Tazz if he likes Sable? Tazz: "This is it. The time to find out." But don't we all already know? Meh. They show clips from the big tag match last Thursday. Since Haas got 'busted' for nothing, there's going to be ANOTHER rematch. Well, I'm not complaining! Haas: "Tonight, we get our titles back." Benjamin: "Kurt's back next week, and we can't let him down." We switch to another locker room. Eddie summons Tajiri, who comes out with a new "Latino" look. Eddie: "You're starting to feel like family; I feel Latino Heat in you..." Tajiri says he has 'Tajiri Heat.' Eddie says that they have to go to the ring now. Tajiri: "We are not walking..." and he gives Eddie a set of keys. Eddie: "You got wheels?" Tajiri: "We lie, we cheat, we steal!" Eddie (almost crying): "Oh man, he's learning so fast..." Cute promo.

Time for the match. We had to see poor Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash more than once, but I don't think anyone would mind seeing this match sixteen times. Team Angle comes out to the customary "You suck!" chants. Tajiri and Eddie come out in a Cadillac pick-up truck. Eddie plays with the shocks for a bit. Good pop. They finally get out and get in the ring.

(WWE Tag Team Championship) Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri (champions): Team Angle go in on Eddie and Tajiri ASAP before they even pose. It looks like it's going to be Shelton and Eddie to start, but the ref takes a while to sort it out and we have Haas and Eddie to begin. Haas gives Eddie a big Olympic Backdrop. The crowd goes "Eddie!" ... Shelton beats on Eddie on the outside for a bit. ... Haas tags in Shelton. Shelton comes in with knees to Eddie's gut, an elbow to the neck, but finally Eddie drop kicks Shelton in the chest and tags in Tajiri. Tajiri gets off some big kicks, and a leg scissors to Shelton. Tajiri rolls him up, and spins and spins him around. (Tazz calls this an "egg roll." It's a new-to-me-but-probably-not-new-to-people-like-Meltzer sort of move.) He stops with Benjamin's shoulders down, and Benjamin kicks out, but is very dizzy when he gets up. Tajiri gives him another drop kick and two consecutive elbows to back of the head. Tajiri applies a side headlock, but Benjamin gets out and they exchange rights, then kick each other at the same time, resulting in both men being flat on the mat. Eddie and Haas stand off and we go to break. When we come back it's still Tajiri and Benjamin. Tajiri kicks Benjamin in the face but he gets caught in a double-team. Haas starts working on his knee big time. He has Tajiri in a wicked-looking hold. "You suck!" goes up. Haas puts him in a leg submission. Tajiri slaps Haas hard in the face to get out. Haas gives Tajiri a knee-breaker, and there's a tag, and Benjamin comes in with a double axe handle to that knee. Benjamin continues the work on the knee. There's a one-count on Tajiri. Shelton gives him an inverted leg bomb. Eddie is undoing the tag rope in the background. Shelton tags in Haas and Haas keeps kicking Tajiri in the knee. Haas puts Tajiri in a half (single-leg) Boston Crab. Eddie goes in and kicks Haas to save Tajiri. While the ref's dealing with Eddie, Shelton takes Eddies place and continues the Boston Crab. The ref isn't convinced that a tag was made, and he forces them to switch. Haas comes in and stops Tajiri just before he gets to Eddie. Haas applies an inverted figure four. Tajiri gets out, and Haas tags in Shelton. Shelton goes up and down with a big drop off the ropes, and hooks the leg, but Tajiri kicks out. Shelton picks up Tajiri, who is able to get the leg scissors, and both men are down. Tags both ways. Eddie kicks and suplexes Haas. Eddie monkey flips Benjamin into Haas. Eddie gets off a double clothesline. Eddie tosses Benjamin outside and gives Haas a regular suplex, then three vertical suplexes. The crowd is up, and Eddie goes up - he fends off Benjamin and then gets Haas with the Frog Splash. He finds a two count, but Benjamin interferes. Benjamin gives Eddie a wicked shot while Haas is holding him, and Tajiri saves the match in a similar manner. Haas and Benjamin double-team Eddie, but Eddie battles out. Eddie tries to make it to Tajiri, but Haas and Benjamin go for a double team DDT, which Eddie counters, and everyone's down. The crowd's going nuts with "Eddie!" Eddie tags in Tajiri. Tajiri gives Haas some kicks, and a fantastic one to end the series - perhaps not with his good leg, as he ends up nursing the poor one in pain. Haas places Tajiri on top, Haas misses something, Tajiri goes for a Tornado DDT, but Haas counters and gets a count going, but Eddie makes the save. Eddie tosses away Benjamin. Haas misses Tajiri and Tajiri gets him in the chin. Eddie gets Benjamin shoulder-first from the apron to the outside. Tajiri measures Haas for offence, but Haas puts him in the Haas of Pain. The bell rings, even though Tajiri didn't tap. Charlie Haas gets up to celebrate, but the ref (Brian Hebner - oh, the irony!) won't raise his arm. Hebner: "I did not ring the bell!" - so he's occupied with the sidelines people. Eddie comes in and tries to bean Haas with the belt, but they end up in a tug-of-war with it. Haas takes the belt, flinging Eddie backwards. Eddie lies down. Haas picks up the belt to claim it, and (wait for it) Hebner sees him with the belt and Eddie laid out, and he's DQ'd *again*!

That's cute. It gets better: During the replay they show the Haas of Pain from a different angle, and we can see Eddie in the background ringing the bell! Wow, three very good matches in a row; this is the strongest temporary tag-team in years! I'd like to see one more go at this next week, which also ends in a DQ finish, causing Stephanie to set up a No Disqualification (a basic gimmick that Team Angle can probably handle) match at Vengeance.

We see Mr. America deep in thought. Josh "I Wanna Be Just Like My Hero, The Coach" Matthews interviews Zach Gowen in the audience. Zach says that he's concerned about tonight's lie detector test. He tells Josh that the charges from last week were dropped, and that he now knows the rules, "I don't have a backstage pass; I bought a ticket..." Josh asks how he feels about the possibility of Mr. America failing this lie detector test, in which case Zach will never sign with WWE. Zach say he's nervous, but that it's out of his hands and really up to Mr. America. Zach: "I'll pray that he passes." They set up the equipment in the ring.

We come back with Vince entering - they're booing him, sure, but shouldn't we be booing *wrestlers?* Oh, well... I guess Mr. America's going to pass this, hmm? Vince: "Well, I've still got that smile on my face. Welcome to a very special SmackDown! This will be the last night you ever see Hulk Hogan in any form whatsoever in this ring. I've hired these two offices and Mr. America will sit in this chair and be subjected to questions he cannot answer!" "Asshole!" takes off for a bit. Once Mr. America fails the test and blah blah blah really is Hulk Hogan blah blah blah contract null and void blah blah blah get rid of both Mr. America and Hulk Hogan on the very same night blah blah blah. He starts to introduce Mr. America but stops and notices Zach. Vince: "Whoa, whoa - hey, isn't that Hulk Hogan's little buddy? Last time I saw you, you were being arrested. Apparently you and Hulk Hogan have a lot in common... neither one of them will have a leg to stand on!" (Sick, but clever) "I can't believe I just said that, but I did." (??) Vince finally introduces Mr. America, who comes out with less enthusiasm than usual. He doesn't even bring the feather boas! Vince demands the music cut and tells Mr. America to sit down and be hooked up. "USA!" takes off briefly. Vince says that all the people going "USA!" won't help Hulk Hogan. Vince: "Now, just for the record, I'm not singling you out; I make all my corporate employees take the lie detector test; I can't stand a liar!" He says that this is going to be the end of the charade. He asks the officers to let him know when they have a reading. Crowd: "USA! USA! USA!" They get a 'reading' (whatever that is). Vince: "Don't be nervous, all I want you to do is, for the first time in your life, tell the truth."

To lend some credibility to all this, they show us the actual printout of the readings while all this is going on. Still, I'd like to sit down with a polygraph expert for this segment and get some feedback. I'm sure we must be getting snowed on innumerable fronts.

- "Are you the man known as Mr. America?" "Yes." Ding.
- "Are you currently sitting in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, Florida?" "Yes." Ding.

Vince tells the officer to just ask him the important questions, since he's tired of fun and games. Officer: "Mr. McMahon, there is a method to this..."

- "Are you currently employed on SmackDown!?" "Yes." Ding.

Vince: "You either ask him THE question, or I'll find somebody else..." What a moron.

- "Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan?"

The crowd says, "No!" then, "Yes!" then, "USA! USA! USA!" Mr. America stalls. Mr. America: "Can I please have a drink of water?" Vince lets him have some water. Vince: "You can drink all the water you want - that's not a truth serum... Dammit, I'll ask this time!"

- "Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan?" "No." Ding.

Vince: "What's this mean?" Officer: "It means he's telling the truth." Vince: "The Hell he's telling the truth!" The officer asks the question.

- "Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan?" "No." Ding.

Vince: "I know what you're doing; you're not asking properly! I know..."

- "Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan?" "No." Ding.

Vince: "Ask him again; it's Hogan Hogan Hogan Hogan Hogan!!"

- "No, no, no, no, no!" Ding ding ding ding ding. (Who invented this machine?)

Officer: "Mr. America has passed this lie detector test." Umm, okay, sure. Mr. America poses for a bit. Zach Gowen is happy. Vince: "Whoa whoa whoa - we're not done! I don't know how you pulled this off, but you're lying! ... Dammit, *I* can pass it; if you can pass this, anyone can pass it... And just for the record, these tests are not admissible in court because people like you can lie through your teeth!" Vince hooks himself up to the machine and asks the officers to let him know when they get a reading. He says that he doesn't care what they ask him.

- "Are you Vince McMahon?" "Yes." Ding.
- "Are you Chairman of WWE?" "Yes." Ding.

Mr. America: "Wait a minute; let me ask you something, Brother! Now I'm gonna ask this nice and slow so you can comprehend..."

- "Are you the biggest asshole on God's Green Earth?" "No." Buzz. (hahaha)
- "Are you a sick, perverted, power hungry freak?" "No." Buzz. (not bad)

Vince: "I don't know what's gone wrong with this test..."

- "I'm a very well respected businessman the world over!" Buzz.
- "What I do, I do for each and every one of you, all over the world!" Buzz.
- "... most of you, all over the world." Buzz.
- "... some." Buzz.
- "Alright, I do what I do for me, and me only." Ding.
- "Let me tell you, I am no pervert." Buzz.

Mr. America: "Oh, you're not?"

- "Well, don't you spend most of your leisure time pleasuring yourself by looking at pictures of Torrie's Playboy?" "No." Buzz.
- "Alright, but it was a long time ago." Buzz.
- "Last month." Buzz.
- "Early this morning." Buzz.
- "Alright, it was in the back of the limo on the way over here." Ding. (Wow, I'm sure everyone wants their young children watching *this*! All this just to put over a magazine that's probably not even on the newsstands anymore.)

Vince: "It's just a fantasy; anyone can have a fantasy..."

- "At least I don't fantasize about the Mae Youngs of the world." Buzz.
- "I hate you, Hogan!" Ding.

Vince gets angry and takes himself out of the tester. Mr. America: "This proves one thing, that Mr. America is telling the truth, and you're nothing but a liar!" They face off and Mr. America punches him out and leaves. Well, the first part of the test finished above my expectations, but Part Two went a bit below my expectations. Worst of all, I don't think this angle is over yet (in either sense of the word)! Well, it was a weird bit, but at least they didn't save it for the end of the show.

We go to Stephanie's office where Stephanie is using her laptop and Vince comes in and smashes it and gets angry with her. Stephanie tries to speak, but Vince just tells her to shut up and not to get smart with him. Vince: "You were responsible for that lie detector test!" Stephanie: "Ding." (Okay, *that's* funny.) Vince: "You hired Mr. America... You know what, I'm beginning to wonder what's going on around here! Stephanie: "You want me to take a lie detector test?" Vince: "Oh, that's real cute... Things are gonna change around here - next week, for the better!"

Sean O'Haire comes out far ahead of Piper. Piper looks for Zach Gowen in the audience, but Zach is gone. The announcers speculate he had to go to the bathroom. Chris Benoit comes out. This should be good, and it ought to be O'Haire's best match so far.

Sean O'Haire vs. Chris Benoit: They dance about and finally hook up. O'Haire gets Chris Benoit into the corner. O'Haire punches and hits Chris, and gives him some boots to the gut. O'Haire misses a move and Chris Benoit takes him for a Dragon Screw / leg drag. Chris comes in with chops. O'Haire kicks Benoit in the chest. Benoit kicks out. O'Haire punches Chris and tries again, but Chris kicks out. O'Haire puts Chris in a rear neck chokehold. Piper is performing well on the outside as a manager-ish character. Benoit gets up and out, and O'Haire misses a kick and gets in a DDT. Both men are down for a six-count. O'Haire is fully up first, but Benoit chops him twice. There's a reversal and a German suplex! Benoit covers and hooks the leg, but O'Haire kicks out. Benoit goes into O'Haire, gives him the neckbreaker and a cover, but O'Haire gets the shoulder up. Benoit gives O'Haire a running back elbow, but at the second would-be ricochet, Piper grabs Benoit's leg at the ropes, and Benoit gets involved with Piper. O'Haire misses a kick. Chris Benoit puts the interfering Piper in the Crossface, but O'Haire kicks Chris Benoit in the back of the head, grabs the tights and gets the win. Not bad for O'Haire, but kind of a downer for Benoit.

They promote next week's match with Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Championship. Apparently this match was going to be for this week's show, but they're putting it off due to Rey's real groin injury. (This is according to Dave Meltzer, but he also said that Mr. America was really Hulk Hogan in a mask, and this lie detector test *proves* that he and all of us were *wrong* all along! j/k) They show clips from last week when Rey beat the M'fers in a handicap match to earn the title shot. Rey joins Tazz and Cole from backstage. Rey: "This is important... I will be the next Cruiserweight Champ; that's all that matters. This match is why I'm here. Yeah, I pulled my groin... I'm hurt... Nothing will stop me. This is for me, my family, my people..." Rey goes into Spanish. Matt Hardy hikes up, irate. Matt: "Don't you forget that I already *beat* you at WrestleMania, and I'll beat you again in Anaheim! ... They can chant '619!' all they like; nothing will stop me from beating you! You don't know the true meaning of the pain known as Mattitude!" Rey says that he's not scared. Matt kicks him in the groin and leaves.

They promise Kurt Angle for next week, and they show another new video, this one set to music from Coldplay. Gee, I hope they pop a rating next week; it would be something GOOD that pops a rating (not something lame like a wedding). It would be a real shame if they didn't. Video verdict: Go on Kazaa (lite) and get this thing, as well as the Desire video and maybe the Intercontinental Championship history video, if you don't have that stuff already.

We come back with an Ultimo Dragon teaser video. Right on! Spanky comes out to Rikishi's music, prompting a comment that "Rikishi lost weight!" Rikishi finally does come out. Spanky runs to the ring while Rikishi walks. They introduce the Basham Brothers, Doug and Danny. They both begin with 'd.' And they both wear black pants. And they've both heads shaven. (So, I'll try my darndest not to mix them up, but it's going to be an uphill battle.)

Rikishi and Spanky vs. Doug and Danny Basham: Rikishi and Doug start off. Rikishi knocks him down and tosses him, Danny runs in, he's down - Rikishi teases a rump drop on Danny. Spanky goes into Doug, gives Danny a big kick to the chin, and covers Doug, who kicks out. They get up in the corner. Danny takes down Spanky and the Bashams double-team him. Danny gives a big elbow to Spanky's head. Another tag, another double team. Doug takes Spanky for a big slam, but Spanky kicks out. Doug holds Spanky by the neck. The crowd starts clapping, and Spanky gets up and takes Doug for an arm drag, then gives him a shot to the back of his head. Rikishi is tagged in and lays the two of them out - they keep coming, and he keeps knocking them down. He gives one of them a kick to the chin and a Samoan Drop. Both guys are bounced into the corner. There's a double Thump from Hell. Is the Stink Face coming back?? It's been months! Yep! Tazz: "Welcome to the WWE!" Spanky goes in for a Monkey Flip, but the guys counter it and they pin Spanky... I think it's Danny who makes the cover while Doug holds his feet down on the ropes for leverage.

We come outside to see Vince's limo getting towed away. He yells at the limo driver, but all the limo driver can say is that the car's impounded, since it was left in the handicapped spot. Vince, not really caring about the car, says that he's going to the airport, and tells the driver to tell the tow truck driver to take him to the airport since he can't. He opens the back door of the limo and gets in. Suddenly a cane taps on the tinted window, which Vince opens up a bit. Zach: "Don't you know that parking in a handicapped zone is illegal?" Vince wants to get out and beat him up, but the tow truck is driving away. Zach waves goodbye. Ha-ha.

We come back with Taker's grand motorcycle entrance. Wait a minute, I have a thought: this won't be a handicap match after all; in fact, Nathan Jones will probably come out! (No!) Lesnar comes out, and the crowd seems glad to see him. He checks out the bike, does his dance, they release the pyro, and he gets in the ring. The announcers don't mention the post-SummerSlam feud between the two, but since that was in the Paul Heyman era, I suppose it's meaningless now. No, no Jones tonight, here come the FBI. Nunzio says that the match will still be a handicap match, even though he's not going to be in it. They show the clips from last week where Taker levels Nunzio with a kick, then the toss over the top rope. Nunzio says he's found a replacement - the Big Show! (Oh, we were *so* close to 10:00 ADT! But he turns out to be pretty good tonight.) They come to the ring and we go to break.

Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo, Johnny Stamboli and The Big Show: Palumbo and Taker are in to start, but so are Big Show and Lesnar. Palumbo strikes Taker; Taker comes back huge, and the bell rings for these two. Taker goes into Palumbo in the corner, and tosses him to the opposite corner. Palumbo gives Taker an elbow and a clothesline, some rights, and a kick to the gut. Taker gets up and stumbles. Taker ducks another clothesline and takes out Palumbo and covers him, but Palumbo gets the shoulder up. Taker climbs up holding Palumbo's arm, and walks on the ropes for a few steps, coming down with a big blow to the shoulder. Taker tags in Lesnar, who further brutalizes Palumbo. Lesnar gives Palumbo a shoulder to the gut and a big vertical suplex. Palumbo comes back and drives Lesnar into the corner. Stamboli tags in and takes it to Lesnar. Lesnar practically runs over Stamboli, gives him a vertical suplex, and then tags in Taker. Brock chokes Stamboli with his foot, then Taker boots Stamboli in the face. He drops an elbow on him and covers, but Stamboli kicks out. Taker gives Stamboli a Full Body Slam, but misses an elbow. Stamboli gets back on Taker, but Taker gives him the DDT. Cover, and Palumbo saves the match. The Big Show is tagged in. Taker then goes back and tags in Brock. Brock and The Big Show hook up. Big Show throws Lesnar and further fends him off. Lesnar gives him a shoulder to the gut. Big Show gives Brock a big clothesline and puts Lesnar in the corner. Big Show gives Lesnar some huge chops and some big kicks... he gives Lesnar another slam and goes for a leg drop, but Lesnar gets out of the way. Lesnar comes back with some lefts and rights. Goldberg ought to be watching this - see how The Big Show doesn't fall down or back very far when punched? Two clotheslines can't knock The Big Show down, but the third works. F-5? No, Stamboli runs in. Lesnar takes care of things, but The Big Show takes Lesnar for a choke slam. Taker saves the match. The Big Show rolls Lesnar out so the FBI can beat on him for a bit. Taker comes around, but the ref gets between him and the Lesnar beating, and the FBI put Brock back in the ring with The Big Show. A right hand by Big Show puts Lesnar into the enemy corner again. Stamboli comes in and kicks Lesnar, then he tags in Palumbo. Palumbo gives Lesnar a shot to the mid-section, then a kick to the face. Palumbo taunts Taker. Things spill outside. The Big Show drives Lesnar into the post. Taker picks up the steps, but the ref dissuades him. Nunzio kicks Lesnar. Stamboli puts Lesnar back in with Palumbo, who goes for the pin, but Lesnar manages to grab hold of the rope. Palumbo gives a big right to Lesnar, and then tags in Stamboli. They double-team him, and then Stamboli tries for a chin lock, but Brock gets off a desperation clothesline. Both men are down for a six count. Tags both ways. Taker gives some rights to The Big Show. Taker fends off Palumbo and starts clotheslining them in the corners, back and forth. Taker kicks Stamboli and gives him the snake eyes into the turnbuckle. Taker kicks to the face and flips Palumbo out. The Big Show gives Taker a clothesline and goes to take him up for something, but Taker counters him into the Dragon Sleeper. Lesnar takes care of Palumbo or Stamboli trying to interfere. Nunzio comes in with a chair to the back of Taker, but it's ineffectual, and Taker takes Nunzio for a choke slam. Palumbo kicks Taker and tosses him out, but Lesnar gives Palumbo the F-5, then goes to give Stamboli the F-5, but The Big Show comes in and gives Brock the choke slam, and it's over.

Wow, LOTS of interference, and a little hard to follow at points (probably the intent), but a very entertaining match. We see a replay of The Big Show taking out The Undertaker during the F-5 so that he could come in the ring and get the win. FBI and The Big Show walk out as the copyright and signature show.

Grade (A-): For the first time in a while, the often-misnamed main event delivered. The Big Show and The Undertaker worked at a good level. The Eddie and Tajiri vs. Team Angle match was good for the third time in a row. There's a lot of positives in this show - if there wasn't so much stuff that was lame and/or didn't make sense, and something to involve John Cena somehow, I think this show would have been great. As it is, it's good, and that's fine.

Mr. America link of the day: http://smackdown.wwe.com/mramerica/

E-mail: me@willmatheson.com

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